Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Tila Tequila On McCain’s Vice Presidential Short List

WASHINGTON -- Republican presidential nominee John McCain, in an effort to broaden support with both Asian and Hispanic voters, has included author and lecturer Tila Tequila on a short list of potential running mates, according to sources inside the campaign.

Miss Tequila, whose legal name is Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen, has previously been mentioned by the McCain camp, though primarily as potential entertainment for a post-election stag party.

“We were kicking around names and the usual ones came up: Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, Howard Baker, Strom Thurmond. Then, just after someone mentioned that Strom Thurmond is dead, I had to take a shot. That’s the way the game is played,” said the source, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he didn’t want anyone to know who he is.

“Well, the shots we had to take were Jose Cuervo -- who also got mentioned by one of the search committee, I think just because he wanted a drink. Anyway, someone says ‘Hey, why the hell not Tila Tequila?’”

After a Nexis search indicated that Miss Nguyen is a legal resident of the United States, the idea was broached to the McCain upper echelon and the committee was surprised to receive a rousing reaction from Sen. McCain.

“He was like, all, ‘Hey, she’s on the Internets! We can get some young people this way, too!’” the McCain advisor said.

The inclusion of Miss Tequila appears to bump another major contender from the list, former Republican Senator Nancy Landon Kassebaum, who was criticized by Republican stalwarts and not conservative enough and not hot enough.

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