Sunday, July 6, 2008

QUEENS RESIDENT AWAITS VISIT FROM BARACK OBAMA; CLAIMS DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE LEFT BRIEFCASE IN CAB

NEW YORK - Archie Bunker, archetypical blue-collar American, spent most of yesterday at home preparing for a visit from Senator Barack Obama. It is believed Senator Obama’s visit will mark the first time a Democratic Party candidate for President has crossed the threshold of the Bunker residence. Mr. Bunker said Senator Obama was dropping by his house to retrieve a briefcase Obama left in Mr. Bunker’s cab.

Mr. Bunker, who works a steady daylight shift at a loading dock, keeps a second job driving a cab to support the eating habits of his live-in hippie son-in law and daughter. “This is going to be the greatest day ever,” said Mr. Bunker, before excusing himself. “Edith here,"referring to a woman he identified as his dingbat wife, "says I ought to get a picture with him, you know, for posterior’s sake.”

A spokesman for the Obama campaign confirmed the Senator would be making “a brief stop” at 704 Hauser Street in Queens on his way to visit dry cleaning magnate – and longtime friend – George Jefferson. “Ironically,” said the spokesman, “Mr. Jefferson is a former next door neighbor to Mr. Bunker.” However, the spokesman explained, thanks to a combination of sound business practices and ruthless tactics, Mr. Jefferson was able to move on up to a more luxurious residence. Mr. Jefferson currently resides in a deluxe apartment on the East Side .

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